Somewhere deep in the woods, where fat redwood trees stretch toward the clouds, where jackalopes, phoenixes, and dryads play and never go hungry, a place that silly mortal beings are unable to find, a small wooden table stands. Two crudely carved wooden mugs sit atop the table, one with boiling and one with iced tea. The lush bushes were softly rustling and the trees’ huge, drooping leaves were creating pathways and then hiding them away. A green wisp whirls over the quaint display. “It’s perfect,” a voice says. The voice’s owner sounds fierce and soft, male and female, all at the same time. “Thank you,” they say, to nobody visible. The wisp swirls again and takes on a human shape. It’s impossible to say exactly what they look like now, but they look strong and healthy, with kind, pained eyes the same color as the wisp from a moment before. They kneel on the soft, vibrant grass and wait, and wait some more. An hour goes by. The mystical being is getting impatient now, notwithstanding their supposed wisdom. They sigh and sip from the cold mug. “I don’t know why I expected them to show up.”

Right on cue, white smoke curls around the trees’ roots, and the roots promptly turn to gray with decay. The grass changes to yellow, then pale sickly brown, and the flowers wilt. The animals who were hunkered down in the bushes and trees instantly flee with brief squeals and squawks. The smoke comes together and takes a physical shape of its own: a large skeleton dragon. There are no muscles or organs, just bones animated by magic. A deep, ghostly chuckle comes from them despite there being no tongue to accompany their giant teeth. “I’m sorry to do that to you, Lifey, but you would have done the same in my place. I couldn’t resist.” Their voice is ambiguous but it still gives off an unquestionable display of exhaustion. 

Life refuses to look up into the dragon’s empty eye sockets and settles for staring at its chest instead. “Thank you for your immaturity, Death. I would like for you to take this matter seriously. Sit.” Their voice and expression are stern as they push the now lukewarm hot tea over to the other side of the table.

Death scoffed, “I thought we were going to have a friendly chat.” They dump their cup of tea onto the sickly grass they’re sitting on and replace the tea with coffee, though where the coffee pot came from is unclear. “But I know that you only tolerate my presence when you want something. There’s a reason we haven’t spoken in centuries.” There’s only a trace of resentment in their voice.

Life pats the brown grass, causing it to perk up and change back to green while forcing politeness into their voice. “Yes, yes, but there’s no need to act like children. I do have a simple favor to ask, but-” 

The dragon’s head leans back and roars with weary laughter. “Mmhmm, there it is. I’ll be going now. You’ve wasted enough of my time.” They gulp down the rest of the coffee, and the mug along with it, and start marching back the way they came.

“Wait! This is important. Please listen to me! It’s not like the other times!” Life called desperately. Death hesitated, but quickly changed their mind and kept walking. “You have to listen to me! Our fates depend on it!”

“Sounds like a you problem!” Death calls back, trying to be done with this conversation. They mutter angrily and subconsciously look back before leaving for good, to see their companion standing on the table with clenched fists and genuine fear on their face.

“You don’t understand. If you- if we- don’t do something we’ll be gone within decades. Decades! Please, I’m telling the truth!”

Death stops and sits down in defeat. “Fine. I’ll hear you out, but I’m not saying I’ll help you. What could be so horrible that it requires you to endure my presence?”