Have you ever thought about the things you say to others around you and how they carry that for the rest of their lives—the fights we have with parents, friends, family, etc? For example, my dad had open heart surgery about two weeks ago and it was pretty scary for me and my family. The entire week leading up to the surgery I reflected a lot on the little time I spent with my dad and what we spent that time doing. A lot of the time we argued and disagreed on whatever. Me and my dad are like oil and water except we think exactly alike and are the same in many ways, but we cannot agree on anything.

My short fuse, my facial expressions, and my procrastination all come from my dad. The week before, I thought about all the things left unsaid and how I could bring them up in conversation before he went in to have this risky surgery that he possibly wouldn’t come out of. Things like, “I’m sorry we fight so much,” and, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be better before something like this happened.” I wanted to hear him say, “I’m proud of you,” and that I did nothing wrong. We had this conversation the night before his surgery and while it was hard to have, the things said were both important and meaningful. I’d much rather remember him telling me that he was proud of me than him and I fighting.

I talked to my coach about my dad because she had experienced something similar with both her parents. Her advice was to have the hard conversations because you will regret it if you don’t. Yes, I didn’t want to have to have that conversation with him because it felt like I was saying goodbye but, think about the scenario in which we hadn’t had it. I couldn’t tell him I was sorry and that I loved him. I just remember feeling so empty and scared. I regretted not spending more time with him and that this specific situation was what had to bring us closer together.

I guess you could say it was eye-opening for me. It just shines a light on how you never know which moment could be someone’s last, watch what you say to others and think about the way it could make you feel if you were in their shoes. Tell those around you that you love them daily. Spend time with your family and friends. Tell people that you’re proud of them and let them know you care about them. Now that I know my dad is okay, I now have a second opportunity to make things right with him and make up for all the time lost and spent arguing. Arguments are a part of human nature, but it’s how you deal with them after that shows who you are as a person. Don’t waste time because you never know, everything could be ripped away from you in a blink of an eye.