Released on January 24, 2008, Deathconsciousness is the debut album of the post-punk band Have a Nice Life. Regarded as one of the most emotionally devastating records of all time, Deathconsciousness is far more than an album–it is an experience. The band’s Dan Barrett and Tim Macuga coined the term “Deathconsciousness” to mean “deep, existential despair”. I first discovered Deathconsciousness during an extremely depressive episode of my life, and I truly resonated with it. This album deals with topics like suicide, religion, and existential depravity. To say this album has changed my life is an understatement.
To preface, the fictional world of Deathconsciousness follows the teachings of Antiochus. Antiochus is a nihilistic cult leader who is the protagonist of the 70-page booklet featured with the album. The theology of Antiocheanism is frequently brought up within this album, which is important to keep in mind because of the religious themes Deathconsciousness presents. The album is divided into two parts: The Plow That Broke The Plains and The Future.
Act 1 – The Plow That Broke The Plains
The album begins with an 8-minute-long track titled “A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut”. This song starts with a beautiful synth chord before fading into an angelic acoustic guitar loop. The track consists of the main instrumental repeating with ambient talking in the background. The title is a play on satirizing the end of the world. “A Quick One” refers to an alcoholic beverage, while “The Eternal Worm” represents an all-consuming being that will destroy life. This song is a beautiful opener for this album and sets the overall tone.
The next song is “Bloodhail”. A recurring theme throughout Deathconsciousness is various short stories featured in the booklet that coincide with the record. “Bloodhail” conquers topics like self-worth, violence, and religion. The Hunter, an anonymous being who is determined to strike down God while he questions his own morality, writes the perspective of the song. At the end of the song, The Hunter climbs a staircase made from the bodies of all life he has killed and sends arrowheads to kill God. This track is excellent with shoegaze soundscapes and dense, thrashing drums. Overall, “Bloodhail” is rich in storytelling and visuals, which is why it remains one of my favorite tracks.
The third song on this album is the one I find to be the most devastating to listen to. “The Big Gloom” is an 8-minute-long ballad with heavy shoegaze and industrial influences. This song represents a suicide attempt, with the narrator “sleeping in and out of an ice bath” to quell his loneliness. The narrator wishes for death, begging for release from his own life. This track is beautiful in terms of music, with droning synths over the distorted vocals.
Following God’s assassination, the next track, “Hunter,” continues “Bloodhail,” revealing what happened. The song paints a picture of God lying on the forest floor among all life on Earth. He shows compassion by allowing humans and animals to harvest his flesh for their own benefit. However, God blames The Hunter for influencing all life to give in to greed and hatred through violence. During the last verses of this song, animals and humans begin to worship The Hunter for his act of violence. The lyric “Yes, they’re begging you for death” represents the honor death has become as The Hunter becomes a deity. The instrumental break at the end of this song is very powerful, serving as a moment of triumph for The Hunter as he becomes the leader of humanity.
The fourth song on this album is, in my opinion, one of the weakest. “Telephony” is a track about creating a time machine in order to contact a dead relative. Musically, the song embraces industrial and gothic melodies accompanied by haunting and distraught vocals. Interestingly, this track is inspired by vocalist Dan Barrett’s own experience with the passing of his father. While the story is incredibly depressing, I don’t find this track anything special.
After “Telephony”, the next track is titled “Who Would Leave Their Son out in the Sun?”. This song tackles ideas with Christianity instead of Antiochianism. In the narrator’s view, God is selfish and uses humans, while he compares his suffering to the crucifixion of Jesus. The sound is orchestral and echoing, similar to what you may hear in a church. Comparing the narrator’s own pain to crucifixion works incredibly well for this track. As the song closes out, the narrator acknowledges how Jesus gained followers and praise for his suffering. He applies this to his own personal pain and aspires to make his sorrow worthwhile. This track shows a resemblance to hope for the narrator, which is incredibly uncommon on such a bleak album.
The seventh track, “There Is No Food”, closes Act 1 of Deathconsciousness. While being strictly instrumental, this song is very impactful to the overarching story. This track embraces industrial and lo-fi elements, with a grumbling bass and ambient talking accompanying the main instrumental. “There Is No Food” is based on an idea made by Tim Macuga, where they are starving to death on a vast, distant moonscape. This song is an incredibly powerful end to The Plow That Broke The Plains and completely encapsulates the feeling of impending doom and a loss of hope.
Act 2 – The Future
Act 2 opens up with the song “Waiting For Black Metal Records To Come In The Mail”. This song is incredibly fast-paced and catchy, which is a stark contrast to the previous track. The lyrics comment on the exploitation of humans in exchange for money. The line “A thousand tiny lives/Disappear into the black stretch” is in reference to how corporations and governments disregard death. To them, death is inconsequential- as long as they grow richer, it doesn’t matter how many people they kill. Despite the complex lyricism, this song is upbeat and captivates attention.
The ninth song is “Holy F*cking Sh*t: 40,000”. The song is primarily acoustic, with a ukulele beside the main synth and keyboard instrumental. This track deals with topics such as loneliness, death, and determinism. Determinism is a philosophical belief that all events are inevitable. The narrator believes all life is predetermined as he lacks free will, leaving him feeling emotionless and isolated. Musically, this track is beautiful. The song segues perfectly from a calm ukulele to a harsh instrumental break midway through. This was the first song I had ever listened to from Have a Nice Life, and it continues to be one I always look back on fondly.
“The Future” is the title of the tenth song on Deathconsciousness. This song sits strangely on the album and is relatively weaker than the rest of the tracks. “The Future” is an instrumental track with a repetitive beat and a droning guitar. The rhythm of this track is slow, invoking a sense of unease and doom. Personally, I don’t believe this song is attempting to tell a story or further the narrative. Instead, it emphasizes the unknown, leaving the future undetermined.
“Deep, Deep” is the eleventh track on this album. Similar to “Waiting For Black Metal Records To Come In The Mail”, this song is very energetic. The track explains the faults and destruction the human race has brought. The first verse describes a scene of reproduction, showing how it has evolved from animalistic and instinctual to a means of escape. During the chorus, the narrator asks, “Why is love so lonely?”, signifying his distress with feeling emotion and love. Deep, Deep is an incredibly underrated track and expresses fear and hatred of relationships.
After “Deep, Deep” is “I Don’t Love”. This song follows the same ideas as the previous track, as the narrator fails to express any emotion. The narrator begins to beg for death, stating, “I don’t want to live like this, Lord,” as the inability to feel love overtakes him. This song perfectly expresses the feelings of hopelessness and despair amidst beautiful vocal melodies and a dramatic bass line, and continues to be my favorite on this entire album.
The last track on this album is “Earthmover”. Being over 11 minutes long, Earthmover paints a picture of the end of the world. In “Earthmover”, man-made golems take over the land and begin to kill all life on Earth to take out their own pain. This track ties together all essential ideas of the album with a devastating, soul-crushing ballad. At the end of the song, the golems express dread. They begin to feel doomed for all they have done as they realize their only purpose is to destroy. The final lyrics of Deathconsciousness close with “We wish we were dead” before emerging into the emblematic instrumental break. “Earthmover” is astoundingly haunting and melodic. This track wraps up the entirety of Deathconsciousness–a perfect end to a perfect album.
Overall, Deathconsciousness has left a significant mark on my life. When I was 13, I listened to this album for the first time. Since then, I could never have expected the impact a single record could have on my life. Have a Nice Life has captured the closest thing to depression in musical form in a beautiful, devastating, and complex album. Undoubtedly, this album is the most bleak and painful piece of media I have ever come across. I strongly believe everyone should listen to this album at least once in their lives.