Your Bully Brain

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What is a bully brain? A bully brain is that little voice in the back of your mind constantly nagging at you, making you feel as if you’re not worth it. A bully brain can get in the way of sports, and also pull you away from social gatherings with friends or family. Listening to your brain when it’s constantly feeding you negative thoughts can be completely draining. Sometimes these thoughts are intrusive while others are almost self-inflicted. A common factor in having a bully brain is that when you’re in group settings at times it’s quite difficult to talk to people without feeling like you’re annoying them, or that they think you’re weird. Trust me, everyone has had one of those moments where you kind of just want to disappear because you feel awkward when talking to people.

Comparison: 

Another form of your bully brain is second-guessing yourself in sports/athletic activities. Meaning, comparing yourself to those around you who may have been playing longer than you, or who you think are better than you. Don’t compare your middle to someone else’s end. Just because one person is understanding something faster than you does not make you bad at your sport. You are learning at your own pace and that is completely okay. The majority of the time, people around you don’t notice when you’re learning slower. They are too focused on themselves and all the things that you have that they don’t. It goes in a full circle. Spending your time focused on other people is a waste of your time that you could be spending doing great things. Accept where you are in your progress and keep pushing yourself to be the best version that you can be. Comparison kills your joy.

Social Outings:

In many cases, people sometimes choose not to go out with their friends because their brains are telling them that those people don’t like them, find them weird, or maybe don’t even want them around. Nobody is worried about what you said that may have been awkward. If they’re real friends they would understand you, and the little things you do in awkward situations. Whether that’s giggling a lot, sweating nervously, or blurting out random stuff when the room goes quiet. Everybody after the 6th grade ends up too focused on themselves, and worried about what they’re doing to be focused on what you are doing, and if they are noticing something about someone else it’s because they are insecure about something they’re dealing with.

Journaling:

People say “Oh, think positively!” but sometimes it’s not always under our control. Thinking in a positive light is not always easy or attainable. One good way to cope with your bully brain is journaling. Journaling helps you get to the root reason why your brain is telling you these things. Looking for journaling prompts online helps too, they push you to write about emotions you didn’t even know you were feeling. Some good journaling prompts are where do you see yourself in 10 years? How have I been feeling recently? What am I most excited about? What has been draining my energy? What am I most proud of? Etc. Thinking positively can be frustrating and can often cause you to have a hard time regulating your emotions, but journaling is an excellent way to let it all out.

My Advice:

Dealing with your bully brain can be quite tricky, but it can be comforting and helpful to know you have others around you who love and support you. Also keep in mind that if your thoughts become too much there are other resources out there, including this online site Managing Mental Health that can connect you to articles and resources about what you are going through. But do not forget, there’s always the crisis line if needed. 988 to call or if you prefer to text, text TALK to 741741.