Killing Fea Part ll


Image via Decoist

Raquel Gonzalez Lopez, Writer


They sighed. “Well, we just thought…”

Mr. Dealy went quiet for a moment, but in those moments he began fiddling… Could he be nervous? Don’t be preposterous! I thought to myself. What could he possibly be afraid of? The most horrendous action that could occur this instant is my wife and I head back home if he were so to speak, in a bad tone. I wonder, could he possibly just be terrified of the thought of losing us once again? I shake my head, that couldn’t be it, could it?

He sighed once more. “We wanted to apologize. When you left. We spent a lot of time thinking about what we should’ve done, that we lost time to actually do them…. I don’t know how things ended up like this… and if it were possible, could we just start all over again?” 

My heart gripped.


I sat there, puzzled. I wanted to be mad but somehow couldn’t be. Why was that? However, I was a bit ticked off. His apology didn’t sound like an apology at all, more like a prayer. Does he really think he can erase all the errors he has created and expects me to forget all the wrong he caused? Because no matter how you wish you could simply start over, you can’t, he’s had his whole life to make up for what he’s done. Why now and why like this? He’s 48 for crying out loud! You would think that a man that old, would have grown some sort of common sense. One cannot simply ask for forgiveness immediately after they started talking in 5 years! That’s simply outrageous and barbaric. My own father has fallen into his own head. How laughable. But as any proper “woman,” I sat, hands folded into my lap, and smiled. 

“Why, what a wonderful idea! Isn’t it Walter?” I turned myself towards him. Even with my eyes shut I could still see the nervous wreck he had become. I sighed and nudged his shoulder. 

“WHY YES! Of course honey. We would love that.” 

“Men,” I grumbled. 

My parents stared at one another as if they were searching each other’s own souls. Were they not stratified with our forgiveness? As I was getting pushed to the verge of anger, my mother spoke up once more.

“That’s truly wonderful!” my mom cheered as the others nodded.

“Well it’s getting late, let us show you where you’ll be staying,” Mr. Grey finally spoke and I have just come to realize that we have completely forgotten about where we will be staying.

“Margret, will you please show them?” My father, Mr. Dealey, asked my mother.

“Why, of course, follow me.” We followed my mother outside.

Once the door hit the frame we could already hear Felix Dealy (my father), Elenor Grey (Walter’s mother), and Oscar Grey (Walter’s father) arguing. We were too far to make out the conversation. How unfortunate.

As we got near the car, in front of the house, Gilbert was standing right there, waiting. We were startled a bit.

“Oh hi there Gilbert! How are the kids?” my mom asked.

“They’re alright Mrs. Dealey.” As they laughed and chatted among themselves, I made my way near the trunk to retrieve our belongings.

 My mother chimed in unexpectedly. “Oh wait! Don’t worry about your little hands Fea! We’ll be driving instead, towards the cabin! Please make yourself comfortable in the backseat, it’ll take a while!” I stared into the abyss, trying to see if I could have possibly heard it wrong. Cabin she said…


As I stood there awkwardly trying to avoid any form of eye contact, I happened to hear, “cabin” and just in an instant, I was transported back into some sort of… memory? I was playing near a cabin. I was with my brother, brother? I questioned myself. I don’t…I don’t even have a brother. Who is this boy? It was as if I was right there, I was running with this kid who I claim to be my own flesh and blood. I could feel my heart beating and lungs breathing the same rhythm as if I were running, this feels a little too real, I thought. I was a kid again. I glared at my small hands and glared back at the boy…. brother?. My mind went spiraling. 

“Hey, it’s time to go and eat!” the little brown-haired boy said. As I lifted my feet to make my way into this shiny and sturdy brown cabin. I saw something in the corner of my eyes. A figure. Who? It feels familiar. As I turned to it, it was gone and as I turned back to face the cabin… it vanished. The cabin that the boy entered was gone, burned to the ground with nothing to show for but ashes. The day suddenly turned into night and all I heard in the night sky was laughter. It was the laughter of a youngling. Who was it? I know who it is but something is missing. Just as I began to have a crisis, Fea tapped my shoulder. 

“Are you alright, dear?” 

As I looked at her I forced a weary smile, “Why of course, forgive me, my head seemed to be somewhere else.” We chuckled. I opened the door for Fea and I entered right after her. 

It was the least I could do after the glare Margret Dealey gave me. Something about that stare told me that I should have been the one to retrieve our things instead of Fea, but I was too nervous to do anything, unlike Fea, who already seems to fit right in. 

As we went deeper into town, my hands began to spew out sweat each second and it seemed like everyone came out of their own homes just to stare at us. It seems like Margaret and Gilbert were our only protection. We would have surely gotten attacked if they weren’t here. We rode down the road slowly and carefully and made our way out of town and into the woods. It took us a while but we finally made it. The cabin. It looked different, quite different from the hallucination. There were a few changes to the structure but most of the surroundings were the same. 

“We’re here!” Margret clapped her hands. 

“Oh my my, it’s been so long since we were here! It looks completely different!” My eyes couldn’t help but shake. 

“What do you mean ma’am?” I smiled with my eyes shut. 

“Oh, you don’t remember? Well, I can’t say much since I’ve only visited this place once. The cabin belongs to your family! You used to live here but moved into town soon after, I have no idea why but I brought Margret here once, don’t you remember?” I looked at Fea, she stared at the cabin and laughed. 

“Ahaha, no, I’m sorry! I don’t quite remember, but it does feel familiar but I don’t recall anything.” I sighed, having no idea what to do with the recent “memory” I had received. 


Walter brought our things inside while I scoped out the area. I brushed my hands on the walls. The scent feels familiar, so why can’t I remember? Just then it came back to me. Baby Walter… I forgot the whole reason why we visited them in the first place but I still remember Walter, hiding behind his father, while little ol’ me was clinging into my mother’s smooth white pearl hands. He was so small, smaller than me, I thought for sure I was older. As I was lost in thought, I got startled by a sudden “TUMPTH.” I jolted. 

“Oh, my bad, I just finished the last luggage. Why did you bring so much?” 

“Well, you can never know what we would possibly need!” I said as I smacked the back of his head. 

“Hey! What was that for?” He reached behind his head to rub the place where I attacked him.

“Hmph.” I couldn’t help but be quite upset at how much he had changed since then. As I was drifting away in thought on how we got this far, he took the opportunity to suddenly lift me up in the air. He then began twirling me around. We laughed and I brushed my fingers through his hair. He isn’t small anymore, I thought. While thinking that maybe him changing wasn’t such a bad thing, we got interrupted.  

 “Ahem… well now, I’ll be heading back, we’ll be visiting you soon, enjoy your stay alright?” 

I nodded, “Of course, mother.” 

She was in disbelief and to be quite frank, so was I. She smiled and closed the door, her expression told me she was on the verge of tears. Oh well. I shrugged and began unpacking.