“Everything’s gonna die!” Life exclaimed, slamming their hands on the table. There is an awkward pause while their voice echoes through the trees.

“Uh… yeah. That’s supposed to happen.” Death sways their tail, slightly confused. “And this is a problem because?”

“No, like permanently! Everything’s going to go extinct and it’s All! Your! Fault!” Life screams the last three words as if they’re on the verge of crying. 

“Are you going to explain anything, or just make me guess? And how is it my fault if you’re bad at your job?” Death inquires defensively, sitting up straighter.

Life scoffs. They exclaim, “Have you even been paying attention?” as if the answer has been obvious all along. “The world is getting hotter and it’s gonna kill everything.”

“That is not ‘All! My! Fault!’” Death could have made their voice sound exactly like Life’s if they so desired, but they chose to do a higher and whinier impression instead. “First of all, I know that! Secondly, it’s the humans doing all the pollution, and if I recall correctly, YOU made those!” They’re barely holding back their temper as they aggressively scratch the ground.

Life protests, “well, you’re the one in charge of when things die. So just stop making things die so much!” 

“You know that’s not how it works!” Death shouts. They stand and look down on the shrieking, agitated Life, and try to regain their composure. “This is going nowhere, and this is not my problem. If species going extinct makes you upset, then do something about it. Yelling at me isn’t going to do anything.” 

Life shoves their face into their hands, “You don’t understand. The humans know what they’re doing, but they won’t stop! I’ve tried to help, but I can’t force them to do anything!”

“Ah, I see what this is really about. You know what? Even if you don’t do anything, it’ll work out anyway. You made a big thing about the dinosaurs going extinct too, and guess what? The world’s not gonna end just because your favorite creatures die.” Death declares.

“I have no favorites!” 

“You’re literally in a human body right now.”

Life stubbornly clenches their fists. “That means nothing! And even if I did have favorites, that has nothing to do with this!”

Death tilts their head and snickers. “I can see why you like humans so much. They’re vain, selfish, and short-sighted. Just like you.”

“You’re just bitter because you’ve never done anything meaningful!” Life yells without thinking. “All you ever do is destroy!”

Death stares back at Life, shocked, and waits for a moment. For an apology, an explanation, even a single sign of regret. However, Life just keeps glaring. The surrounding plant life jerks like they can feel pain. “I believe that’s my cue to leave then. Good day.” They try to act dignified, but it’s clear they’re hurt. Death walks away from the woods and is almost gone, but something makes them change their mind, and they come back.

“I knew you’d be reasonable.” Life smiles. They don’t seem the slightest bit remorseful as they pat the ground on the other side of the table, beckoning Death to sit. 

They come closer, but instead of sitting, they smile. “Nah, but this is a nice table.” They grab it in their jaw and stroll away, for real this time, leaving Life to ponder.