Unusual Conversations


(Image via Forbes.com)

Jess Winkler, Writer

I placed myself in the chair across from London. I didn’t know much about the man, but I did know he had a very weird head. Our conversations always left our minds in pieces, which was, essentially, the point of the game. He stared blankly at me, and I did the same. Our eyes locked on each other. After about five minutes of just watching and waiting, he finally speaks. 

“Animals with eyes on the sides of their heads are prey, animals with eyes on the front of their faces are predators, so why are dragons considered prey?” he asked and I consider this for a moment without taking my eyes off him. 

“The iconic alien is to us what we are to apes: small, pale, big-headed, and with unfathomable technology,” I state, and watch as the gears in his mind work, his face unmoving. Our tones were calm and serious, never differing. 

“I will be the last person to die in my lifetime,” I fight back a smile that tickles the sides of my mouth. The whole point was to not let the statement affect you. To be honest, I don’t know when this tradition started, but it was a lot of fun, so we continued anyway. 

“We assume the zombie apocalypse will be with human zombies, but we could easily be attacked by undead cows,” I tell him. His lips flinched and I mentally praised myself for almost cracking London. 

“We aren’t afraid of being alone in the dark, we are afraid of not being alone in the dark,” London made sure to enunciate. While it was a morbid thought, it made sense… 

“Centaurs have 2 rib cages,” I watch as London thinks for a second before fighting back the shock on his face. 

“Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed,” He says. While I already knew this one, it was still amusing to me, but I fought off the smile. 

“If a person wears a suit in a room full of t-shirt wearing people, they are the most important person in the room. Although, if a person wears a t-shirt in a room full of suit-wearing people, they are likely the most important.” 

“Because there are always going to be pregnant people in the world, the average number of skeletons in a body will always be higher than one,” London tells me, and I have to force myself to breathe in order to not smile. 

“If you rip a hole in a net, there are fewer holes in it than there were before.”

“How far back do you have to go before it’s considered archaeology instead of grave robbing?” he asked me. I mentally cursed him out for taking one of the ones I was going to use on him. 

“Sleeping consists of not moving for 8 hours while watching a movie you made in your head,” I personally liked this one, and the look London’s eyes gave me made it clear he liked it too. 

“In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep,” he tells me quickly, obviously trying to connect his fact to my own. Once he was done speaking, I tried to hide my excitement for my next fact. 

“At one point you were the youngest being in the entire universe, and at another point, you will be the next to die,” I try to tell him calmly. I was very excited to see his reaction to this one seeing as it was my favorite. I watch him closely as he stares at me, then looks down at his clasped hands. He stays like that for a while before leaning forward and holding out his hand to me. I shake his hand and he gets up and walks out the door without saying a word. I couldn’t contain my laughter anymore, it bubbled out of me and left me gasping for air for the next 5 minutes. I was very proud of my win against London, and his reaction was exactly what I needed. 

Now came the mission to lookup more shower thoughts and weird facts for our next meeting.