Nice Zombie . . . ? Pt. 1

The day began as usual, with me keeping watch while Jamie lay asleep on the floor, bright red hair poking out of the sad grey sleeping bag, drooling and temporarily unaware of the nightmare going on around us. In other words, it began as normally as it could when there’s some kind of an apocalypse going on. I stare for a while at the empty, depressing road, clutching my shiny metal bat tightly until there’s a tap on my shoulder.

“Breakfast, Ellie,” said a cheerful voice, one unfazed by the ongoing horror. I grabbed a bucket and sat down while Jamie handed me an opened and preprepared can of three cheese tomato sauce. “Your favorite,” he chuckled.

I thanked him and downed half of it in one gulp. “Where’d our stash go?” I inquired. There were only two bottles of water where there once were at least 50 cans and bottles. 

“I dunno. Guess we ate it all,” he shrugged. He didn’t seem to think it was an issue.

 Then I noticed something. “You ate, right?” Jamie didn’t answer and looked at the ground. I stood up and clenched my fists furiously. I shouted, “You need to keep your strength up too, you selfless buffoon!”

“But you-”

“No! Eat.” I shoved the can towards his face and he took it, but only looked at it guiltily. “I can make you,” I said. Sure, it was low, but it got him to eat.

“Guess we should probably get more stuff,” Jamie said, expertly changing the subject.

I loosened up. It was hard to stay mad at Jamie for very long. “Yeah, we probably should if we don’t wanna die.”

We filled up our backpacks and grabbed our weapons. I only had my bat and Jamie only had a gun that I highly doubted he’d actually use, but oh, well. Poking around behind buildings can be boring, except that a lot of the time we’re also escaping from zombies and people. We found a stream that I’m like 99% sure is safe to drink from – I read somewhere that running water tends to be safer than still water – and we filled our bottles and then drank from them without dying. 

I told Jamie that he better use that gun when I tell him to and he said okay, but I don’t completely believe him. Luckily, we haven’t gotten into a situation that bad yet. Finally, we found a few sealed cans wedged behind a dumpster. Yay. I looked around to see nobody else nearby, so we grabbed as many of those cans as we could and shoved them into our backpacks.

“This is probably enough for now…?” Jamie said reluctantly. It would only be enough to last for a couple of days, but I was feeling extremely exhausted and therefore I agreed with him. I finally let myself relax a little bit and release the tension in my chest. 

There’s a loud shuffling sound: a zombie. I didn’t notice its approach until it was close enough to slash at me. I’ll never make a mistake like that again. Fortunately, it missed horrendously, and I instinctually whacked it in the chest with my bat. The zombie was knocked back and moaned softly in response. Then it tripped, fell into a ditch, and couldn’t get back up. It made screeching noises for a few seconds, then gave up and sat down, whimpering.

Jamie poorly attempted to stifle the urge to laugh. “This zombie isn’t very good at its job.” He strolled towards the struggling monster and tilted his head. “I almost feel bad for it.”

“If you’re thinking about doing something stupid, DON’T!” I called and started following behind him, but it was already too late. 

“There, there,” he said to the fallen zombie. He put his hand out and patted the zombie’s dreadful matted hair. “You’re very scary.” I zoomed over to that ditch as fast as I could, bat-a-blazing, but somehow, Jamie wasn’t ripped to shreds, nor had he even been bitten by the time I reached him. The zombie was just staring at him with its bloodshot, sickly yellow eyes.