Does Pineapple Belong on Pizza?

There are many great questions in the universe such as “where did we come from”, “what is the meaning of life”, and “is there a god”, but most importantly “does pineapple belong on pizza”. Pineapple on pizza is a strongly debated subject, many people think that pineapple is a good topping on pizza, there are also many people who would say that they are wrong.

The original pizza that pineapple was served on was the classic Hawaiian pizza. The Hawaiian pizza, as opposed to popular belief, was invented in Canada by a Greek man named Sam Panopoulos. Sam created pineapple pizza with the thought that if you can put mushrooms, bacon, and pepperoni on pizza than you could put pineapple on it, then Hawaiian pizza was born, with it the curse of pineapple on pizza.

Many people might think “what’s so bad about pineapple pizza?” these types of people probably also like lots of sugar in their pasta sauce. Some food is good with a combination of flavor, such as orange chicken, or maple bacon, but sometimes it crosses the line, when pineapple is added to pizza it doesn’t only add some sweet but the juice of the pineapple spoils the rest of the pizza and will add soggy sadness to your meal.

The taste of pineapple is a tart, sweet, and sour flavor it is a very good snack by itself and can be mixed with some foods but when with pizza the flavor just stands out in a bad way. Pizza is a savory, salty, and sometimes can be a bitter these flavors are like pineapple, as they are very good by themselves and can be good with some others, together pineapple on pizza becomes chaos.

Let’s say you were in some town in the 1690’s and you went to your local pizza parlor, you go in and ask for the normal 1690’s pizza but you also ask to add an extra ingredient, the pineapple. At first, the local pizza maker thinks you’re joking but soon he finds out you aren’t. The word gets around fast, the whole town soon learns about your crazy ideas but you are still clueless, you go to sleep that night, not expecting a thing. When you wake up in the morning you feel uncomfortable, but you’re too tired to open your eyes, you had a rough sleep. When you do open your eyes you see the town square you’ve walked through every day and the whole town is surrounding you. The mayor is telling everyone about your choice of the pineapple on the already perfect pizza. You try and escape your post but you are tied down with rope. The last thing you see is the ceremonial witch burned walking towards you. All of this because of your choice to put pineapple on pizza.

With all the craziness of this world, there are many things that are bad, terrible, and destructive. The best thing to do in today’s climate is just accepted the fact that pineapple is not something that belongs on pizza.