How to Set Boundaries With Your Friends

Have you ever been in one of those awkward situations where you’ve lent out an item of yours and it was never returned? I’m sure we all have those friends where you’ve trusted them to give back your things but somehow it’s just never seen again. Having boundaries with your friends is a very good idea if you want to prevent situations like these. Boundaries with friends allow you to be more open and have more trust with one another. Not everyone knows when enough is enough when you are with your friends.  All friendships are different, but I think we can all agree that there are times when you wish to speak up about something, and you feel like you can’t.

Talking to your friends about something that is bothering you within the friendship could have many possible outcomes. Some may freak out and take it way too serious, others may take it as a joke and never pursue anything to fix the friendship. Lots of people are scared to speak up and that’s something everyone can relate to, but if you never speak up about things that are bothering you, it could get worse. It could even end up with the break of a friendship. For example, many people lend out their things and believe they will have their stuff returned. Yet, in some cases, things are lent out and your friend may never give it back. This is where things get sticky. You go on and on about what you might say or excuses you might make to have your things returned, but never go through with it because you are scared that it may make things awkward between you and your friend. What if it does? What will I do?  Nobody likes the feeling of choosing a decision when the outcome is uncertain.

To avoid all of this, the excuses, the jokes, and all the long conversations inside your head going back and forth on what you should do need to stop. The way that happens is to set boundaries. When setting boundaries within your friendships, always acknowledge your own feelings. There may come a time when you notice you feel uneasy or uncomfortable with a certain friend. Take note of these feelings and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way, If I feel better around other friends?” Once you have done this, decide how you are going to handle the situation. If you feel deeply for this friend and wish for them to stay in your life, talk to them and tell them that the way they are treating you is no longer acceptable. Always stay firm with your beliefs. Don’t let them turn the situation against you. You have the power to help your well being by noticing, thinking, and taking action.

Holding back on things that are on your mind are usually not a good thing. Always approach problems head-on. Yes, it’s never easy to build up the courage you need to be upfront and it may be a hard process, but it’s better to speak up and be heard than suffer in silence. Setting boundaries with friends will help the relationship greatly, helping you to communicate with each other. Everyone wants a good friendship that they can speak freely with and have fun together. Setting boundaries with each other make it less likely for you to feel trapped within the friendship and can keep the relationship healthy.