The Leek: The Secret Lives of Horror Movie Killers

  You all know the famous Halloween killers. Jason, Michael Myers, Pennywise etcetera. But what you may not know is that they all lead secret, surprisingly, normal lives.

Pennywise

  Aside from torturing and scaring people to death (literally), Pennywise enjoys other things in life, for example, art and listening to R&B. At an interview, Pennywise told us this, “I don’t enjoy scaring people anymore, no. I like the finer things in life now.” He says he will continue his line of horror because he has an image to uphold, if not for that, he would be doing different things.

Jigsaw

  Although Jigsaw kills people in horrible, gruesome ways, he enjoys other things. He likes mountain biking and arm wrestling competitions. He said, “I want to play a game, that doesn’t involve killing people with traps. I want to live.” He was seen arm wrestling in a bar. And when he was losing, the bear trap on his opponent’s leg closed and Jigsaw won. He says he still goes back to his old ways sometimes.

Jason

  Even though Jason has killed thousands of people, he has a soft heart. He likes long walks on the beach and playing fetch with his dog, Buddy. “I really like the looks on their faces when I chop their toes off,” Jason told us when we found him, “but I also like my dog and I have a strong connection with the beach.” After the exclusive interview, Jason executed all our recording staff, medieval style.

Michael Myers

 Michael enjoys other things in life other than killing teenagers. He likes cooking and is exceptional at dicing and slicing fruit and vegetables. He dreams of getting on the show Chopped and winning someday. At an interview, Michael stated, “I love cooking, yes, but mainly I like killing people, especially teens. By the way, would you like to try my grilled David?”

Annabelle

  She likes scaring the crap out of people whilst leading them to their deaths, but she also has a lonely heart. “I’ve always wanted to have someone to play tea party with,” Annabelle said, crying, “But every time I try they always run away,” Annabelle says she likes scaring people but wants more in life than that.