A Look Into Twin Fantasy By Car Seat Headrest

Twin Fantasy is one of the best albums of the 2010s and has been one of the most influential and important albums to me personally. Twin Fantasy holds a very important place in my heart, ever since I first heard it in 2020. Twin Fantasy is filled with sentimental lyrics and beautiful poetic content that can be interpreted in multiple different ways. This album tells the story of the progression of a toxic relationship. Will Toledo, the singer, and songwriter of Twin Fantasy pours out his emotions in these ten, in my opinion, perfect songs.  Twin Fantasy originally came out in 2011, Will Toledo produced all of Twin Fantasy by himself at the time. In 2015, Will Toledo signed with a record company and Car Seat Headrest became more of a band Once he signed with a record label he was able to create the Twin Fantasy that he had originally envisioned, as he did not have the resources before to do so. Twin Fantasy was re-released in 2018 and that is when its popularity truly began. Twin Fantasy can be described as a concept album as all the songs correlate and go together to create a bigger piece of artwork. Toledo has expressed that this album is from personal experience, which makes it even more heartfelt and intense. 

The album begins with the song “My Boy – Twin Fantasy,”  this song introduces the fact that Will was in a long-distance romantic relationship, begins the story that is within this whole album, and introduces the relationship that Will Toledo speaks about on throughout the entirety of Twin Fantasy. The listener can interpret this by the repeated lyric, “My boy, we don’t see each other much,” which may represent how both he and his partner are lonely and rely on each other for support or validation, but because they do not see each other often, they still have that same underlying lonesome feeling. 

The second track, “Beach-life-in-Death,” is one of the most prominent songs on the album as it is 12 minutes long, and filled with many spectacular lyrics that feed into the concept of the album. There is more explanation of the relationship that Will Toledo was in, “I pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends/I never came out to my friends,” this makes it clear to the listeners that Will Toledo’s relationship and sexuality is not something that Will has shared with people, and is something that he keeps private. We don’t know the meaning behind the name Twin Fantasy until the final track, but “Beach-Life-in-Death,” alludes to it here. Toledo wanted to become one with his partner through love, which is represented by the two dogs on the album cover. “And I laughed and changed the subject / She said, “what’s with this dog motif?”/ I said, “do you have something against dogs?” Toledo used this “Dog motif,” when he “came out to his friends,” and tried to tell them about his relationship represented by the image of the connected anthropomorphic dogs. Toledo talks about his depression and loneliness throughout the album and while in this relationship and as the song continues it is obvious that he and his partner did not necessarily have a healthy relationship. Toledo expresses that his depression makes him inhuman, “I am completely soulless/ I am incapable of being human,” here we start to sympathize with Toledo and hope that he is saved from his sorrow. 

“Stop Smoking,” is the following song on the record, which is a plea from Toledo to his partner to simply stop smoking but also, on a grander scale, is Toledo using this trait of his partner as a device to explore his conflicting thoughts about the relationship. Toledo may feel as though he is constantly trying to change his partner, as in “Beach-Life-in-Death,” he sings, “I woke up and I was trying to kill you,” to kill the version that his partner was, as he believes he was potential to be more. 

“Sober to Death,” which is a popular song on the record, is the fourth track on the album and it speaks on how hard it is to help someone with mental health issues, especially when the relationship is long distance. Throughout the song, it is quite obvious that Will Toledo and his partner both struggle with mental issues, because of this it is hard to uplift and help each other as they are both struggling. “Don’t think it’ll always be this way / not comforted by anything I say / we were wrecks before we crashed into each other,” when you are a teenager, one often seeks out people who they can relate and have similar experiences and since they were both “wrecks” as they crash into each other they only hurt each other more, no matter their intentions their relationship will only end up damaged because of their mental states. At the end of the song, Toledo repeats the lyric, “Don’t worry, you and I won’t be alone no more,” this final repetition optimizes the main idea that is presented in this song and even the album, that is love tends to loosen the grip of depression on one’s mind and soul.

“Nervous Young Inhumans,” is a brilliant song that shows Toledo wants and needs to cling to this fantasy that he has rather than focusing on reality. The monologues at the end of the song are what truly stand out. Toledo is pretending that he knows a lot more than he does, whether that is relationships, girls, or religion. Throughout the monologue, Will explains that he cannot be evil because he does not believe evil exists, as it is human nature. “You’ve just been singing about girls, what do you know about girls?” shows that Toledo does not understand love, but he can pretend that he does. 

The next song is one of my favorites, “Bodys” is a great love song out of context, but in the context of the album, it is devastatingly sad and emotional. It becomes clear that Will Toledo is obsessed with this fantasy that he created in his head and cannot return to reality. “Bodys,” seems to be set at some sort of party and shows Toledo may struggle with social anxiety. “I keep so quiet / it’s hard to tell I’m alive,” Toledo keeps quiet due to his embarrassment of not wanting to be noticed. This song is all about fantasy, wanting to experience an intimate moment with his partner, but he is too cautious. In the second chorus the narrator comes to the conclusion that he is young, and that he should enjoy his life while he can, “Don’t you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second? / I am terrified your body could fall apart at any second,” he uses his fear of death overcome his fear of this social situation. 

“Cute Thing,” is the most romantic song on the album. Will Toledo is afraid that his partner is not as romantically invested in the relationship as he is. The song begins with the lyrics, “I got so f*cking romantic I apologize/let me light your cigarette,” which shows that Will Toledo is no longer trying to stop his partner from smoking, he is now encouraging it. The rest of the first verse sings, “Come visit Kansas for a week of debauchery / Songs and high fives and weird sex,” this makes it clear that his relationship is built off of a more physical relationship rather than an emotional one. Because Toledo is willing to light his partner’s cigarette shows that Toledo is willing to do just about anything to continue this fantasy of the relationship.  

“High to death,” simply tells a story about a bad experience that Will Toledo had with marijuana. Toledo begins to describe this devastating trip that he had while he was high, showing how mind-altering drugs can be in the moment. Later in the song he repeats, “Keep smoking, I love you,” then begins to repeat, “But I don’t want to die,” immediately after. Toledo no longer cares about changing his partner’s behavior, since he wants the relationship to last and has a fear of losing his partner. “I don’t want to die,” can be taken both literally and figuratively, because Will Toledo is so high he believes that he is dying, but it also represents that he is sacrificing everything for his fantasy of the relationship, although it is unhealthy. Will Toledo is dying by giving up his personality and self for this relationship.

“Famous Prophets (Stars)” is the second to last song on this perfect album, this song shifts the whole tone of the album as Toledo has begun to conclude that this relationship is over. The first verse begins with, “Apologies to futures me’s and you’s, but I can’t help feeling like we’re through,” Toledo apologizes to the two in his dreams of the future, like it’s his fault, because he feels as though they can not exist any longer as a couple. Images of teenage love are shown throughout the entirety of the album, this song connects all the songs with previous lyrics from songs such as, “Beach-Life-in-Death,” “Bodys,” and “Sober to Death.” Most of the lyrics portray this relationship ending, and although it is hard, it is necessary. “My teenage hands will never touch yours again,” Toledo then almost makes fun of himself singing, “I’m not gonna end up a nervous wreck / like the people I know that are nervous wrecks.” as Toledo earlier in the album called him and his partner a “wreck.” Toledo begins to repeat, “We gotta go back,” which could represent multiple different things. It could be Toledo hoping for him and his previous partner to become friends or even strangers like how they used to be. It could also be Toledo missing the dynamic they had when the relationship was not as toxic. Throughout the album and this song, in particular, graves are used as a metaphor, “The ocean washed over your grave,” which is a lyric in both “Beach-Life-in-Death” and “Famous Prophets (Stars)” which represents being unable to keep your feelings for someone or something buried as they keep resurfacing. Later in the song, Toledo sings, “I could fill that grave / I could hammer in the nail,” graves are used as a motive to represent buried emotions. If he has finally found a resolution, he can allow himself to let go of these emotions and “hammer in the nail.” Lastly, this song alludes to the fact that this fantasy that he had in his mind is gone, “And when the mirror breaks, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Toledo has grown up and grown out of this fantasy that he had of this relationship and partner. 

The last song of the album which is, “Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)” perfectly ends and encapsulates the album as a whole, tying everything together for the final time. There is no possible way I can explain this song except for inserting the spoken part of the song which Will concludes the album. He ends the album with, “This is the end of the song, and it is just a song. This is a version of me and you that can exist outside of everything else, and if it is just a fantasy, then anything can happen from here. The contract is up. The names have been changed. So pour one out, whoever you are. These are only lyrics now.” As the contract is up for their relationship, it is also up for Twin Fantasy. The outro repeats, “When I come back, you’ll still be here,” so even though the narrator is leaving the past behind, these lyrics, these memories, and these moments, will continue to exist and if he wants to, he can revisit these memories, and this fantasy can live on as long as he may wish. 

Writing my love for this album has been emotional. The way it perfectly encapsulates first love and heartbreak. The awkwardness and confusion that comes along with being in a serious relationship with someone for the first time, although it is not necessarily healthy. This fantasy of a person, place, or thing, is something that everyone has experienced in one way or another. I encourage everyone to listen to this album for themselves, as it is a masterpiece. Hopefully, it will move you as it did for me.